ramenkuri

Still in shock about D'Angelo. Too early, way too early.

And some of my favorite pet influencers have passed away.
Just learned that this adorable French bulldog passed away in 2021 :( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0-Sv6YnxEc

And Maru-san, the mischievous cat that never met a container it didn't try to fit into, passed away a few months ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_AbfPXTKms

Have some dresses that I've not worn - I should probably give them away...

I also have a dress that I intend to wear sometime; I will wash it.

I have a cute dress but it's not that comfy; am on the fence about keeping it. Am wearing it right now, so I guess I'll keep it for now.

I find it really helpful to write things out by hand but I also get frustrated by it:
* I think more quickly than I write
* My handwriting is messy
* For some reason (perfectionism?) I don't like messing up journals so I write on papers and then I end up with a mess of papers

Tried Aerin Lilac Path on the left wrist and the new Mediterranean Honeysuckle Tiare perfume.

So far the Tiare variant is a boring sweet musk after 2 hours. The Lilac still has some floral sweetness left - not bad.

I kind of like Burberry Goddess but it's not memorable enough to buy.

I just don't come here very often; been spending time reading those manga where the main character is reincarnated as a girl in a noble family.

Maybe I'll log into dreamdwidth on my phone so I can read the fan fic that I haven't gotten to yet.


This song by Kat Graham is my jam these days!

Totally my jam these days. I wish there were financial incentives to release great music even if the album didn't happen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwQGVZzykJI

Alzheimer's is like a really slow death.

It's not even that terrible with my dad; he's mostly not mean, he's continent, he's still clinging to his independence but not doing anything dangerous like trying to drive.

I read about people whose loved ones have developed early onset Alzheimers', some people with young children, and I think about the life they were expecting to have, and the childhood that they wanted for their kids, and how that's not possible any longer.

My dad has lived a long life. I don't think he has any regrets about how he lived it.
The regrets are on my side. I probably won't ever be able to document his childhood in the way I'd hoped to. I'm not even really able to improve his quality of life much.

I'd like him to tell my son stories in Cantonese or Mandarin, but that ship is sailing away.
It bothers me to have my dad around, because I see where I have failed him.
But I want to live my life too. I didn't sign up to be his caregiver.

- Dementia is really common. One in 3 people over 80 will get Alzheimer's, a type of dementia
- Support groups are awesome, even if people are dealing with very different situations from me. There is something indescribably comforting about knowing that people are dealing with the same illness affecting their family. Hearing it from people real-time is a very visceral experience that doesn't come across as fully in text-based communication
- For dementia, there are free support groups with professionals moderating!
- There are free resources! It's super de-centralized though, so it takes a lot of work to find
- There are elder care services, and care manager services.
- Medical care in the US requires the family to advocate for the best care possible. The decentralized nature of how most health care organizations means that they are not incentivized or able to do this advocacy at a holistic level. This may differ with boutique/concierge oriented healthcare and I know that Kaiser has been pretty innovative in this area, but elder care seems to be particularly difficult and underserved.
- If you can get a geriatrician, do it! There are a lot of common issues with elder health that regular doctors get confused by. My 80+ dad has a particularly low pulse rate; it worried the ER and they wanted to put a pacemaker in him, but it's normal for him, and his UCSF cardiologist isn't worried about it.
- Covid is terrible.
- Technology is not elder-friendly. But you can leverage it.
- Medi-Cal and Medicaid will pay caregivers, and family can apply to be paid as such. So if you're caring for an elder for free - make sure you get paid! It won't be enough, but it's better than nothing. Also, don't get into the position where you sacrifice your present or future for your elder.
- It's ok to prioritize your care over that of your elder. If you need to let the state step in and take over, that is ok.

I have 3 extra temporary pots, but am trying to root 4 succulents in water, so they'll need those pots.
I have too many succulents now, so thinking about which to give away. I'm greedy somehow, as I don't really want to give any away, despite the lack of space! I don't really need so many jade plants though, and I have a bunch of this one flower succulent, so I should give some of each away.

I now have extra pumice and dirt; I should probably put the pumice in my storage room, and I could put the extra dirt out front where I think jasmine is struggling to grow.